It wasn’t my first time returning to work after having a baby, but this fourth time felt different. After a powerful home birth on September 6th, I was all set to go back after my six weeks of disability were up. I planned to save California’s generous baby bonding leave for later in the year when the older kids would be out of school. But then my doctor stepped in, heard my concerns, and extended my disability another six weeks so I could properly rehab my pelvis.
Taking time for myself was initially a difficult decision, even though it aligned with my values. You’d think that by my fourth baby—very possibly my last—I’d be immune to all the feels. But I’m still learning (and riding the emotional rollercoaster).
When I finally did go back to work in early December, with plans to take time off for Christmas, it was tougher than I imagined. My husband and I had both grown to love the freedom and family togetherness we’d experienced over the past few months. Even though I wasn’t physically leaving the house—since I telecommute—mentally, I still had to leave my baby and split my attention between career responsibilities and the tiny, new life I’d spent months pouring myself into.
It felt impossible. I’d nurse my son, his tiny hand curled around my finger, and wonder, How am I supposed to turn off this part of myself, even for a moment? Then I’d manage to do it, not just for work but also to allow myself brief escapes—like playing a silly game on my phone to distract myself from the excruciating pain of breastfeeding. My psoriasis had spread to my areola, making each session unbearable. Thankfully, this too has passed.
Some days, I’d catch glimpses of the version of me I used to be—the woman who loved her work, who thrived on solving problems and creating—and I’d miss her.
Still, I couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that something was missing. And honestly, I think I’ve found it. Writing this blog, sharing my story, and connecting with other wild hearts feels deeply aligned with who I am now. That’s why, for 2025, I’ve set a goal of writing one to two blogs a week. It’s a way to pour my energy into something that feels purposeful and fulfilling.
This time around, I’m allowing myself to dream of a future where my work isn’t just about making a living but about living my purpose. And it starts with sharing these four key strategies with you that have helped me navigate the return to work with confidence.
Strategy #1: Embrace Your Unique Journey
Every mom’s return to work is different. Some of you are heading back to full-time office jobs, juggling commutes and childcare. Others may be managing multiple kids or restarting careers after a long break. No matter your situation, know that your feelings are valid. Whether you’re overwhelmed, stretched thin, or wondering if your job is still the right fit, you’re not alone. Our journeys may differ, but we all share the common experience of figuring it out as we go. And that's part of what makes this season so beautiful.
Strategy #2: Establish Coping Mechanisms and Rhythms That Help You Thrive
Navigating this transition requires shifting our mindset to focus on progress, not perfection. Striving to excel in every area—work, motherhood, and self-care—sets us up for failure. Instead, I remind myself that showing up, even imperfectly, is enough.
One of the most helpful things I’ve learned is the importance of creating daily rhythms. Experts like Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, a psychiatrist and author of The Whole-Brain Child, emphasize how predictable rhythms—like mealtimes, nap times, and bedtime routines—help regulate children’s emotions and behavior. These same rhythms can anchor us as moms, providing structure and a sense of control amidst the chaos.
I rely on a simple morning ritual to anchor my day. Before the chaos starts, I take a few quiet moments to center myself—whether through yoga, journaling, or sharing a moment with my husband. These small acts of intention help me feel grounded, no matter the challenges ahead. And even if the kiddos wake up, which they sometimes do, I'm still practicing my yoga albeit sometimes with them on top of me or with a kids' yoga book, but it's not met with as much resistance because it's part of our rhythm.
Strategy #3: Create a Flexible Transition Plan
A solid plan is key to navigating the return to work, but it’s important to stay flexible. I originally planned to return after six weeks, but I listened to my heart and extended my leave to twelve weeks. And now I'm taking my baby bonding time for another 8 weeks even though I originally planned it for summer. Don’t be afraid to adjust your plan if it feels right. Trusting your instincts and prioritizing what’s best for you and your family is essential.
At one point, I thought that by the time my oldest turned 18, I’d have the freedom to retire and be done with work. That thought felt liberating for a moment. But now, I realize that when he’s 18, I’m probably going to want to work again! What’s most important to me right now is being present with my little ones, like cooking together or rather shredding cheese while my 3-year-old devours it.
Time with them is limited, and I want to savor these moments while they’re still young. You can always make more money, but the time we have with our children during these years is irreplaceable.
So, don’t rush the process or pressure yourself to jump back into the grind too soon. Focus on what feels right for this season of your life. It’s okay to step back, adjust, and be present. The time you spend with your family now is worth more than any paycheck.
Strategy #4: Set Boundaries and Find Support
Establishing boundaries is vital. Clearly define your working hours, personal time, and family time. And most importantly—put it in your calendar to help ensure it happens. Don’t hesitate to communicate these boundaries to your employer, your partner, and yourself. Protecting your time and energy will help you thrive.
Likewise, find a support system that helps keep your boundaries realistic. Whether it’s a partner, family, friends, or online communities, having people to lean on and bounce ideas off of makes all the difference. I enjoy the questions and answers within the Working Moms Connection Facebook Group. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Leaning into Growth and Change
Amidst the messiness of it all, there’s beauty—and an opportunity to grow. After four kiddos, I’m savoring the little moments more—like jotting these thoughts down while my baby naps blissfully beside me after nursing or admiring my handsome 4-month-old.
These moments are fleeting, but they ground me.
I’m leaning into the discomfort, knowing that, like birth, this transition will stretch and strengthen me. I’m dreaming of a future where I’m not just balancing motherhood and career, but thriving in both. Sharing this blog consistently is one step toward that dream, and I’d love your help with comments along the way.
Next week, I’ll dive into my 2025 goals and how I’m setting intentions for growth and abundance. This year, I’m elevating both my career and personal life, and I’d love for you to join me on this journey.
What’s one routine or tip that’s helped you during your return to work? Share it in the comments or tag me on social media—I’d love to hear how you’re making it work! We’re in this together, Mama. Let’s figure it out, one step at a time.
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