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Funny Pregnancy Quotes

Pregnancy is one of the happiest yet most challenging phases for any couple. When a couple decides to have a child, they must be fully aware of what they will be going through for the next nine months of their lives. It will be full of laughter, eating delicious foods, going on long walks, napping at odd times of the day, etc., especially for a woman, pregnancy is one the most cherished things of their life. She experiences various changes in her body, moods, and way of living. She craves to eat different things at different times of the day and has to go pee frequently.

In these times, a woman also enjoys extra attention from her husband and family members because she is carrying an entire human being in herself. Only a woman can know how difficult it is and how many different emotions she feels altogether. To make your pregnancy memorable, remember to make the little things count and celebrate small moments with your partner, for example, when you felt the first kick of your child or when the doctor showed you the first movements of that little thing in your womb. These are the moments that will be remembered forever.

Moreover, while you are pregnant, don’t forget to have fun and make sure you spoil yourselves or have yous husbands do it. You deserve to eat all the good food, candlelight dinners, cuddle in bed, and romantic movie dates with your bae. So, have the best time of your life in those nine months.

Below, we have listed 30 funny pregnancy quotes to bring a smile to your face. Enjoy reading!

  1. Being pregnant has made me realize it takes talent not to pee yourself when you sneeze.”

  2. “Parenthood is the scariest ‘hood’ you will ever be in.”

  3. “Pregnancy is nine months of cheat days.”

  4. “Giving Birth is an ecstatic roller coaster ride not available to males.”

  5. “The only productive part of me today has been my bladder.”

  6. “Being pregnant finally helped me understand my true relationship with my body”, meaning that it wasn’t put on this earth to look good in a swimsuit.”

  7. “I have two brains in my body, but I have never been so dumb.”

  8. “Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.”

  9. “Waiting for this baby is like picking up someone from the airport, but you don’t know who they are or what time their flight comes in.”

  10. “Pregnancy is getting company inside one’s skin.”

  11. “I haven’t had alcohol for months. This is not a pregnancy glow. This is a detox glow.”

  12. “Maternity clothes are regular clothes with a 200% mark up.”

  13. “I can’t drink alcohol anymore but get a hangover every morning.”

  14. “When your wife is pregnant, don’t eat the last, ANYTHING.”

  15. “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.”

  16. “ I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago. It looks like a potato.

  17. “Pregnancy is the happiest reason for feeling like a crap.”

  18. “You don’t realize how many people you and your spouse have despised over the years until you have to name a baby.”

  19. “When people congratulate me, I like to say, “For what?” and watch them panic.”

  20. “I’ve never even kept a plant alive, but they will let me leave the hospital with a baby? This doesn’t seem right.”

  21. “Peeling – peeing and sneezing at the same time.”

  22. “That moment when all your friends are dieting and exercising, and you’re just like, ‘Baby wants a cupcake.'”

  23. “I know my baby is going to be an overachiever. I reached my healthy pregnancy weight gain limit in the first trimester.”

  24. “When pregnancy feels long and endless, I like to think on the bright side: no periods!”

  25. “My everyday meals include breakfast, brunch, lunch, pre-dinner, dinner, dessert, dessert#2 and a post-dinner snack.”

  26. It’s a great thing about being pregnant. You don’t need excuses to pee or eat.”

  27. “Growing a baby makes me feel like a superhero. A tired, weak superhero who wants to eat all the time and is not allowed to lift heavy objects.”

  28. “I’ve been to war. I’ve raised twins. If I had a choice, I would rather go to war.”

  29. “People always say that pregnant women glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death.”

  30. “Sure, I could try a pregnancy yoga class, but I prefer to do my breathing and stretching solo… lying down… Napping. I’m talking about napping.”


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