The Quiet Way Your Life Is Being Built (And How to Take It Back)
- May 6
- 4 min read
For the woman who feels pulled in a hundred directions—and knows something deeper is asking to lead.
Ten years ago, I said “I do.”
Twenty years ago, I met the man who is currently taking all four of our kids to Jiu-Jitsu so I can sit in the quiet and write this to you.
And lately, I’ve been thinking about something I didn’t understand back then:
How a life actually gets built.
Not in big, dramatic moments.
But in small, quiet decisions we make every single day.
When the Advice You Get Doesn’t Fit Your Life
Last week, I had a rare hour of quiet.
The big kids were at school.
The toddler was napping.
No one needed anything from me.
And instead of enjoying it… I froze.
So I did what many women do when they feel overwhelmed:
I asked for advice.
My dad told me to meditate.
My mom suggested a massage.
Both answers were loving.
And neither were what I needed.
Because I wasn’t craving rest.
I was craving momentum.
That was the moment I realized:
You can’t ask someone in a season of slowing down how to build in a season of expansion.
If you’ve ever felt stuck between what you know you want and what others are telling you to do…you’re not alone.
The Voice in Your Head Might Be Lying to You
A few days later, I was with my dad again.
He’s been working hard on his health—he’s down 13 pounds.
By every logical measure, he’s winning.
But then he stepped on a scale that told him his “metabolic age” was 81.
(He’s 71.)
And just like that, the light in his eyes dimmed.
And the truth is, he’s been doing everything right.
Because it didn’t matter what was true.
It mattered what the number made it mean.
And this is where so many of us get stuck.
We let:
our bank account
our to-do list
our productivity
our weight
our timeline
Decide whether we’re doing okay.
That voice in your head—the one constantly measuring, analyzing, optimizing?
It thinks it’s helping.
But if you’re not careful, it stops being a tool…and starts becoming a judge.
Where This Shows Up in Real Life
Not long after that, I failed my own “spaciousness” test.
I was exhausted. The house was a mess.
And I chose not to clean it.
Not because I couldn’t…but because my kids hadn’t cleaned up earlier that week.
I wanted a lesson to be learned.
Later that day, my 9-year-old walked in, saw the mess, and was holding back tears.
He looked at me and said:
“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”
Ouch.
In that moment, I saw it clearly.
I wasn’t responding as a mother.
I was reacting like a manager.
Tracking effort.
Keeping score.
Trying to enforce fairness.
And missing what actually mattered.
Because when we let that internal “analyst” run the show…
everything becomes a transaction.
Even love.
Why a “Spacious Life” Doesn’t Just Happen
On our anniversary this year, we opened notes our guests wrote to our “future selves” on our wedding day.
They wrote about bliss.
Dance parties.
An easy kind of joy.
And while there has been joy…
The truth of the last two decades has been something deeper.
It’s been the waves of having four kids in seven years.
The stress of building financial freedom while testing different paths—digital products, stocks, real estate—and trusting it would come together.
The uncertainty of leaving a 15-year career with no clear map ahead.
The quiet relief of a hike where, for a moment, everything slowed down—and we could feel how far we’d come.
And somewhere along the way, I realized something that changed everything:
A spacious life doesn’t arrive when things finally settle.
You create it.
How to Make Confident Decisions (Even When You’re Unsure)
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure what your next move should be…
Here’s the truth no one tells you:
You don’t need more information.
You need more self-trust.
Because confident decision-making isn’t about:
having perfect clarity
getting everyone’s approval
or eliminating uncertainty
It’s about learning how to:
listen to your body
recognize when something feels aligned (or not)
and choose anyway
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Even when it’s different.
Even when you can’t fully explain it.
The Question That Changes Everything
So here’s something to sit with:
If you wrote a note to your future self about how you’re spending your life right now…
Would you feel proud of the way your actual days look?
The way your mornings feel.
The way your energy is going.
The things you keep saying yes to.
Because the truth is:
The “yes” you’re choosing today is quietly becoming your life.
If You’re Ready to Trust Yourself Again
If this resonated with you, you’re not just looking for better time management or productivity hacks.
You’re craving something deeper:
Clarity. Confidence. Alignment.
In my book, Wild Mama Rising, I go deeper into this—especially in Chapter 3.3: Decide with Confidence.
Because some decisions aren’t simple.
They challenge your beliefs.
Your relationships.
Your identity.
And there isn’t always a clear “right” answer.
There’s just the choice you make…and the trust you build with yourself because of it.
If you’re ready to:
stop second-guessing yourself
make decisions that actually feel aligned
and build a life that feels as good as it looks
👉 Wild Mama Rising will meet you right where you are.
Final Thought
You don’t need permission to grow.
Just the willingness to trust the part of you that already knows it’s time—
and the courage to choose accordingly.
Namaste
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